Tonight, tonight...

...it all begins tonight.

I can't believe that Helen's "coming out party," is already upon us.  The songs have been taught, the scenes analyzed and rehearsed, the space reserved, the invites and confirmations sent and recieved and the baklava baked.  

This is a terrifyingly exciting moment.  And it makes me think of an old friend of mine...back from the "tarot card reading phase" that I went through in my early twenties.  None other than, THE FOOL.  Here he is:

Back in the day, I used to run to my tarot cards whenever I was feeling apprehensive, confused, anxious, wistful, frustrated, hopeful, etc.  (Again, I'm a lot like my protagonist, Vita.)  And every once in a while a little voice creeps in these days and says to pragmatic, responsible, reliable Nicole, "What are you thinking?  You must be a fool to think you can pull this off." 

Before I responded to myself, I decided I needed to do some more research about my friend here.  While my tarot cards have remained at my parents house, safely tucked away in an undisclosed location, there is plenty of info out there about this archetype. 

There are those created by our old pal, Willy Shakespeare:  Feste, Touchstone, Trinculo, to name a few.

As Wiki says:

Shakespearean fools are usually clever peasants or commoners that use their wits to outdo people of higher social standing.  The "groundlings" (theater-goers that were too poor to pay for seats and thus stood in the front by the stage) that frequented the Globe Theater were most likely particularly drawn to these Shakespearian fools or clowns. However they were also favoured by the nobility.

Not such a bad thing to be.

And according to the world of tarot:

Moment to moment, and with every step, the Fool leaves the past behind.  He carries nothing more than his purity, innocence and trust, symbolized by the white rose in his hand.  His intuition is functioning at its peak.  At this moment the Fool has the support of the universe to make this jump into the unknown.  Adventures await him in the river of life. 

This card indicates that if you trust your intuition, your feeling of "rightness" of things, you cannot go wrong.  Your actions may appear "foolish" to others, or even to yourself, if you try to analyze them with the rational mind.  But the "zero" place occupied by the Fool is the numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.

So to answer the question that keeps popping up during my most vulnerable moments:  yes, I am a Fool...and proud of it.